I recently facilitated a stress management program and one of the sessions was about resilience, the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. We discussed the ABCDE tool, which is helpful in shifting one’s perspective about an event or situation that would typically prompt a negative response or reaction. The equation is simple: A + B = C (+ D = E), which is based on Albert Ellis’ model:
The “C” (consequences, typically negative emotions) stem not directly from the “A” (adversity or activating event) but from the “B” (one’s beliefs about the adversity or event). The key is to “D” (dispute the initial beliefs or thoughts) to therefore generate “E” (a new energy or more positive outcome or consequence). One of the suggestions for disputing the initial belief or thought is to find something to be grateful for about the adversity or event. It’s not always an easy thing to do, but I know personally, when I do it, I usually feel better about the situation.
As I was thinking about Thanksgiving and the things I am grateful for, this tool reminded me of a poem I had seen in the past about being thankful for life’s less glorious moments. A quick internet search turned up the following, which I think sums up the sentiment I wish to convey today.
On Thanksgiving, and hopefully every day, I will strive to see the silver lining in the difficulties and hardships that may arise, knowing there is always something for which I can be grateful.
I wish you and your loved ones a safe, relaxing and Happy Thanksgiving!
Although many of us get swept up in all the hoopla around Thanksgiving – the turkey and trimmings, the football games, the parades, and yes, even the holiday shopping – it behooves us to pause and remember what the holiday is really about: giving thanks, expressing gratitude for all that is good in our lives.
This recent Time magazine article highlights several benefits to our health and wellbeing from practicing gratitude, including being more patient and experiencing long-lasting happiness. Amazing how a few small acts, like saying thank you to your partner for washing the dishes or writing down three good things that happened to you each day, can reap such big benefits.
In the spirit of the holiday, I’d like to take a moment to share the top 5 things I am grateful for, today and every day:
- My family, near and far, for keeping me grounded and helping me succeed.
- My friends, for the joy and laughter as well as the hugs and support.
- My home, for providing warmth, comfort and shelter.
- My morning quiet time, when I can turn inward and just be.
- My Nia practice, for helping me rediscover the joy of movement.
And one – actually two – more things, just for fun – my feline “goddesses,” Artemis and Athena (below left and right, respectively). These little kitties remind me every day to look at the world with wonder and curiosity – to see everything as if for the first time. They teach me patience by often testing my patience, but who can resist their sweet little faces?
I wish you and your loved ones a Happy and healthy Thanksgiving!